Something recently happened to a close friend of the family that made me give more thought than usual to motherhood. Our children likely take it for granted that mom will always be there for them. I felt that way myself through most of my life. But in the case of my friend, her daughter-in-law gave birth to a beautiful baby girl just a week ago and all was fine … they thought. 6 days later the mommy died … totally unexpected. It was a huge shock to the family. The ordeal of a difficult birth did more damage than anyone realized, and her organs suddenly shut down, leaving her husband with a son almost 4 years old, another son only 2, and now a brand new baby girl to care for. Mommy was a fabulous mom who did all kinds of activities with her youngsters, was all set up to home school them, and in so many ways went beyond the norm to be a good mother … and now she’s gone. The baby girl will never know what a wonderful person her mommy was.
Have you ever watched a Killdeer running back and forth and squawking her head off almost constantly if you get anywhere near her eggs? Killdeers lay their eggs in rocks or gravel, and they can be very annoying as they give out an endless piercing cry to protect their eggs or the babies that come out of them. Robins can be annoying, too, if they build a nest on your front porch. The mother will fly in and out, swooping very close to your head if you are sitting on the porch. She is trying to warn you to back off. And, of course, we have always heard never to get too close to the babies of any wild animals. The mother might attack, especially mother bears. All they are doing is protecting their young, just like human mothers do.
I know Mother’s Day is over, but every day should be Mother’s Day. Mothers do so much to love, care for and protect their children physically, emotionally, and sometimes financially. Often, when a child reaches 12 – 18 years in age, mom continues to push for too many hugs because there is nothing she loves more than hugs from her babies, but then the child becomes more proud and independent and no longer wants those hugs. He or she hides their head when riding with mom to school or a ballgame. They don’t want to be seen with a parent, especially a clinging mom. Heaven forbid mom should lean in for a kiss on the cheek in front of others. That’s when Mom realizes it’s time to let go.
But we never let go, do we? It’s impossible. That child could now be 50 years old, but to mom he is her “child.” It helps when we have grandchildren and great-grandchildren to dote on, but the soul connection of mother and child is very strong. And eventually, the child who didn’t want hugs in front of their friends comes back around and begins to appreciate mom all over again. The sad part is, we appreciate our mothers more than ever once they are gone. I wish I could have a second chance with my mom, to tell her all the things I should have told her when she was here with me, a chance to give her all the extra hugs I should have given her then.
With this recent loss of a baby’s mommy, it hit me how lucky I am to have known my own mom all my life. There is a little baby girl out there now who will never have a true “mommy,” and two little boys who will be wondering why mommy will never come home again. I can’t imagine what that would feel like.
So, treasure mother and thank God that you were blessed with her presence and her love for most of your life.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you each and every day … not just one day a year.
My Mom, Ardella Williams Reris, at 91.
